Touchdown Jake, Celrock's Version!
by celrock
Summary: When Phil gives Jake a bottle of chocolate milk, it's the Football Game of the century, when the gang attempts to keep the bottle away from Princess. Wrote this in honor of today being Superbowl Sunday, hope you enjoy!
1. Cast of Characters

Author's Note: For starters, I'm pleased to announce that the defects that were present on the DVD release of season 3 of Rugrats, are no longer there, as I finally have a perfect copy of that season, along with seasons 1, 2, 4, and 5 of Rugrats! So yay yay yay! On a different note, I'd like to apologize for not posting any new content as of late. My classes this semester are a lot more heavy duty in terms of the reading and writing assigned in them, as they're literature courses, and while I only go to school on Tuesdays and Thursdays this semester, my energy is going more or less towards school, and seems as if school is taking a lot out of me this semester. So, if I'm not releasing stuff on here as much between now and when the spring semester ends for me on May 12, 2015, that is why, and I hope my fans won't be too disappointed. And finally, since today is Superbowl Sunday, I thought, why not have a parody of the classic episode of Rugrats that I swear, back when Rugrats aired on Sunday mornings on Nickelodeon during the 1990's, they always aired this episode on Superbowl Sunday, or seems I recall it always airing on that day anyway, and so, if this is as close to football as you'll ever get, as I'm no football fan by trade, then I hope you enjoy this classic episode, parodied with the following cast of cartoon characters, which will be presented in this first chapter!

Touchdown Jake, Celrock's Version!

Summary: When Phil gives Jake a bottle of chocolate milk, it's the Football Game of the century, when the gang attempts to keep the bottle away from Princess. Wrote this in honor of today being Superbowl Sunday, hope you enjoy!

Disclaimer: I own absolutely nothing, and these character pairings, are typically used by Fan Fiction user, InvisibleGirl16. All characters are the property of their original creaters.

Chapter 1, Cast of Characters

Tommy Pickles: Jake Long (The American Dragon)

Chuckie Finster: Arthur "Spud" Spudinski (The American Dragon)

Phil Deville: Danny Fenton/Phantom (Danny Phantom)

Lil Deville: Danielle Fenton/Phantom (Danny Phantom)

Angelica Pickles: Princess Morbucks (The Powerpuff Girls)

Spike: Cujo (Danny Phantom)

Didi Pickles: Susan Long (The American Dragon)

Stu Pickles: Jonathan Long (The American Dragon)

Drew Pickles: Eli Pandarus (The American Dragon)

Lou Pickles: Phil (Hey Arnold)

Betty Deville: Maddie Fenton (Danny Phantom)

Howard Deville: Jack Fenton (Danny Phantom)

Chaz Finster: Professor Hans Rotwood (The American Dragon)

This ends the cast of characters. The episode will appear in the next chapter.

Author's Note: Not sure if I'll release it immediately upon typing it up, or tonight at 6:30 p.m. U.S. Eastern Time, when the actual Superbowl kicks off in my area, you'll just have to wait, and see.


	2. Touchdown Jake

Author's Note: I'm putting up this chapter now, so I don't forget. Enjoy!

Chapter 2, Touchdown Jake

_A balloon that Jake was playing with gets wedged under the coffee table. Jake tries to grab it, but before he gets to the balloon, he bumps his head on the table's edge. Jake falls down and cries. Susan walks in._

"What happened? What happened?" Susan asked.

"Huh? Gee, I don't know, honey - he was just fine a minute ago." Replied Jonathan.

"Oh, no! Jonathan, look at that gigantic bruise!" Exclaimed Susan.

_He looks at Tommy's bruise. Then he looks up, smiling._

"Susan, he probably just bumped his head trying to get that balloon." Said Jonathan.

"Jonathan, are you blaming Jake's concussion on the balloon?" Susan asked.

"Concussion?" Jonathan asked.

_Jonathan looks underneath the table at the balloon. When he got up, he bumps his head on the table._

"It's not the balloon's fault, Jonathan. Oh, how can Maddie and I trust you dads with the babies during the game this afternoon? You won't watch them at all." Susan said.

"Of course we will!" Jonathan says reassuringly.

"Don't be silly. After kickoff all you boys will be thinking about is guzzling soda and gobbling pork rinds." Replied Susan.

"Whoa, time out, Susan! I haven't had pork rinds in years." Said Jonathan, as he _gives a referee's time out signal._

"Maybe I should just stay home. This place is an accident waiting to happen." Said Susan with a sigh.

"Susan, he won't hurt himself again. I promise." Said Jonathan.

"Well... maybe you're right." Said Susan with a smile.

_Jake walks to the table and once again bumps his head. Susan reacts by screaming. In the basement, Jonathan is working on an invention. Phil watches him._

"You're gonna what?" Phil asked.

"I'm gonna invent something that'll keep Jake from hurting himself, Phil." Replied Jonathan.

"You can't keep a baby from hurtin' hisself! Why, when I was a sprat, I used to crawl through Ma's cactus garden, huntin' for horny toads." Explained Phil.

"Horny toads, Phil?" Jonathan asked skeptically.

"That's what I said! And all I had on was my birthday suit! What're you gonna do, put Jake in a bubble?" Phil asked.

_(Jonathan makes a sketch of Jake in a bubble.)_

"Well, if I don't think of something, we dads are gonna have to take turns looking after the kids. That means watching the game in shifts." Said Jonathan.

"Shifts? Well, let's get busy, then!" Said Phil surprised.

_Jake empties the popcorn out of a bowl and places the empty bowl on his head. Jonathan looks at Jake with the bowl on his head._

"Phil! That's it! Look! Protective head gear!" Said Jonathan, amazed.

"Huh?" Replied Phil, confused.

_Jonathan picks up the phone and calls Eli. At Eli's house, Princess is making faces and scaring her kitty cat. Eli's phone rings and he picks up the receiver._

"Eli? Jonathan." Said Jonathan

"Jonathan? Eli." Replied Eli.

"Jonathan?" Said Eli.

"Right, Eli. Listen, I think I've solved this babysitting thing. Get a hold of all the other dads and tell'em the game is still on. And Eli?" Jonathan asked.

"Yeah, Jonathan?" Eli asked

"This is top secret." Replied Jonathan.

_In the living room…_

"Oh Susan! We've got something to show you!" Said Jonathan excitedly.

"What's going on?" Susan asked.

"Susan, you and Maddie may go to the mall WITHOUT FEAR." Said Jonathan.

"We can?" Said Susan.

"That's right. Because Jake is now virtually UNBRUISABLE." Explained Jonathan.

"He is?" Asked Susan, confused.

"Yeah! Here, I'll show you." Said Jonathan.

"What on earth is it, Jonathan?" Susan asked.

_Jonathan picks up Jake. On his head, Jake is wearing headgear composed of a toy turtle, 3 rolls of toilet paper and some string._

"Presenting the Bonkomatic Baby Bumper." Explained Jonathan.

"The bonka-whosit baby what?" Asked Susan.

"The Bonkomatic Baby Bumper offers complete cranial suspension, protection from the 1001 hazards of the average American household, the absolute freedom of movement, and best of all, a worry-free day of shopping for mom." Explained Jonathan.

"Oh, I don't know, Jonathan. Are you sure it will work?" Susan asked.

_Jake walks to the table and bangs his head again. This time, he is uninjured, as the head gear protected him._

"Susan, it's guaranteed." Said Jonathan with a smile.

"Well... all right." Said Susan.

Outside the front door, Susan leaves the house.

"Maddie and I will be back in a few hours. Bye-bye!" Said Susan as she left the house.

In the _living room,Phil &amp; Jonathan give one another high fives._

"Yes!" Said Phil and Jonathan simultaneously.

_In the playpen, Jake is wearing his Bonkomatic._

"What's it for, anyway?" Danny asked.

"Yeah, what's it for?" Danielle added.

"I think it's to keep my face from gettin' out." Jake replied.

_At the front door, Eli knocks._

"Halt! Who goes there?" Phil asked.

"Hi, Phil." Replied Eli from the other side of the door.

"What's the password?" Phil asked.

_Eli holds up a bag of pork rinds._

"Pork rinds?" Eli asked.

"Bingo!" Replied Phil, as he lets Eli into the house.

_Eli and the other guys enter. Hans pulls in a giant TV set with large speakers. Phil and Jonathan are wearing Houston Oilers shirts, while Eli and Jack are wearing Dallas Cowboys shirts. Hans is wearing a green sweatshirt with a picture of a yellow chess knight on the front._

"Hey, Professor Hans. Great! You brought the big-screen TV! Oooh! In Surround-A-Thon stereo!" Said Jonathan excitedly.

"I dunno, Jonathan... maybe this football game isn't such a good idea. Wouldn't you rather watch the chess play-offs on The Culture Channel?" Hans asked.

"Gee, I don't know. Whadda you think, guys?" Jonathan asked.

_The other guys boo Hans and give him thumbs down. _In the _playpen, Spud and Princess are now there along with Jake, Danny and Danielle. Jake is still wearing the Bonkom._

"What's that stupid thing you got on your head?" Princess asked in a nasty tone.

_The guys walk to the playpen. Jonathan picks up Jake._

"Guys, now that you're here, I can show everyone. Here it is, the answer to all our parenting problems - the Bonkomatic Baby Bumper. Guys, we're talking complete cranial protection here. Baby gets to play, dad gets to go about his business and voila! No more worried moms. And best of all, each kid gets one!" Explained Jonathan excitedly.

"Yes!" Exclaimed Phil, Eli and Jack.

_The guys hoot and walk back to the TV and sit down. The Ultra Bowl titles and music flash on the screen. Commentators Chick Hearn and Hank Duff appear on screen, on the field._

"Hello again everybody, and welcome to our coverage of football's big event - The Ultra Bowl. I'm Chick Hearn, coming to you live from the Lone Star State with my good friend, Hank Duff." Said Chick.

"Hi folks." Said Hank.

"Hank, how's it feel to be back on your home turf?" Chick asked.

_Hank taps on the ground with his foot._

"Feels great, Chick." Replied Hank.

On the _couch, the guys cheer._

"Come on, Houston!" Cheered Phil and Jonathan.

"Go get'em Dallas!" Cheered Eli and Jack.

_Professor Hans interrupts with his unnecessary knowledge._

"Actually, both teams have their strong points…" Said Hans.

_The guys nod in disgust at Hans._

_Back in the playpen, all of the Rugrats are wearing Bonkomatics. Danny &amp; Danielle each have bowls on their head with a teddy bear on top and a toilet paper roll under their chins. Spud is wearing a bucket with some sponges inside, and Princess is wearing a diaper on her head, held on with string and toilet paper._

"Spud, you in there?" Jake asked.

"I Think so." Spud replied.

"I can't believe your dad made me wear this dumb baby helmet." Said Princess.

"They're not dumb, Princess, they're really neat." Said Jake.

"Yeah!" Said Danny and Danielle in unison.

"And look at this!" Said Danny, as he and Danielle stand on their heads.

"Wow!" Exclaimed Spud.

"Come on Spud, let's do it!" Said Jake.

_Jake and Spud stand on their heads._

"I learned this in ballet class!" Said Princess, as she too, stands on her head, only to grow dizzy, and falls down.

_On the couch…_

"Yep! Back at Minnesota State, they called me The Galloping... uh... The Galloping.." Explained Phil, as he reaches into a bag of Pork Rinds, only to find it empty.

"Geezer?" Eli said, interrupting Phil.

Jack, Hans and Jonathan all laugh at Eli's comment.

"Very funny! I was the Galloping - hey, we out of pork rinds already?" Phil asked.

"There's more in the kitchen, Phil. Hey, would'ya give the kids their bottles while you're up?" Jonathan asked.

He then turns to the other guys.

"Galloping Geezer!" Exclaimed Jonathan.

_The guys laugh._ _All the Rugrats are on their heads, but as Phil enters the area, they fall down. He has milk bottles for them._

"Okay, sprouts! Milk break!" Said Phil, as he hands milk bottles to each Rugrat.

"Here ya go, Danny, and here's one for you Danielle, and this one's for ol' Spud! And here's one for my little princess!" Continued Phil, as he handed a bottle to Princess.

"Bottles are for babies, Phil. I'm not a baby!" Said Princess.

"I plum forgot! I fixed up something special for you, scout!" Said Phil, as he hands Jake a bottle of chocolate milk.

_Phil leaves. Princess watches Jake drink is chocolate milk, and teases him._

"Drinky little baba, baby-boo?" Said Princess, teasingly.

_A drop of chocolate milk falls to the ground. Cujo, who's with the Rugrats in the playpen, licks it up._

"Wow! It's chocolate milk!" Exclaimed Jake.

"Chocolate milk!" Said Danny and Danielle.

"Chocolate milk! Gimme that bottle!" Yelled Princess.

"No! It's mine!" Jake protested.

"I said give it!" Demanded Princess.

"Uh-uh!" Replied Jake.

_Jake and Princess fight over the bottle in a "tug-of-war" fashion._

"Gimme that chocolate milk! Gimme that bottle!" Yelled Princess as she continues to fight over the bottle with Jake.

_As they continue to struggle, Chick and Hank do Ultra Bowl commentary. The Rugrats' actions coincide with the commentary.\_

"It's Sebastini with the draw play." Narrated Chick.

"Oooh, nowhere to go, Chick." Said Hank.

"But he squirts through to pick up seven yards before he's finally dragged down from behind." Chick continued to narrate.

"Nice second effort there, Chick." Said Hank.

"Thanks, Hank. Dallas falls second and three at their own 18 yard line." Said Chick.

_Jake squirts Princess and falls over; Jake walks over her head._

_Back at the couch, the guys are paying more attention to the game, rather than to the Rugrats._

"Second and who?" Phil asked.

"Three!" Replied the other guys.

"Turn it up, Jonathan, my ear's on the fritz." Phil said.

_Cut back to Rugrats._

"Here's the snap. Dawkin's dropping back to throw but the pocket collapses around him. He's trapped in the back field. Big Bubba Nogursky breaks through." Narrated Chick.

"Oh, Bubba. Looks like a sack for sure, Chick." Said Hank.

"But wait! Kincaid is wide open at the line of scrimmage! Dawkins gets the ball off just as Bubba crashes him to the ground!" Chick continued to narrate.

_While Princess tackles Jake, Spud catches the bottle. While they toss the bottle around, chocolate milk dribbles out of it._

_Cut to guys watching game on TV._

"Wow! What a shovel pass." Said Eli.

"Sheer luck." Said Jonathan.

_Cut back to Rugrats._

"Here comes a draw play up the middle, but Nogursky is there and he grabs Kincaid around the knees. Whoa, a fumble! Loose ball!" Chick narrated.

_Princess tackles Spud, bottle rolls around._

"Boy, what's going on down there, Chick? This guy moves like nobody in the league!" Exclaimed Hank.

"But wait! DiAngelo dives on it! What a break for Dallas!" Said Chick.

"He came out of nowhere, Chick." Said Hank.

_Danny sees the bottle, and dives on it, sucking on the bottle._

"And believe me, he doesn't wanna give up that ball. Dallas ball, first and 10 and the 11-yard line. What? The Statue of Liberty play! How long's it been since we've seen that one?" Chick asked.

"Not since Minnesota state, young fella!" Replied Phil at the TV.

_Cut back to Rugrats._

"Hey Danielle! Over here!" Shouted Jake.

"Get it, Jake!" Shouted Spud.

"Look at this, hank. They're playing backyard football with this explosive Houston team! Not a prudent thing to do here in the House of Pain. Uh-oh, Dawkins is tripped up by his own man, the line coming at him." Narrated Chick.

_After the Rugrats pass the bottle around, Danny tosses the bottle to Danielle, who's riding on Cujo's back. Danielle tosses it to Spud, which bounces off his Bonkomatic and into the hands of Jake. Princess runs towards Jake, but Danielle trips her._

"Dawkins under severe pressure; he hesitates, he pump fakes the ball and he looks to Kincaid. He throws the bomb. It's intercepted, Hank!" Narrated Chick.

_Princess rushes toward Jake. He fakes a throw and tosses the bottle to Spud, only to have Princess catch the bottle. The nipple comes off, causing the milk to splatter everywhere._

"Wow! Norgursky made an all-pro move on this one, Chick. Let's take another look." Narrated Hank.

_We see the same above action again, in slow motion._

"Mud everywhere, Chick." Said Hank.

_Back to regular motion, Princess sucks on the bottle._

"What a mess, Hank. We'll be back with more Ultra Bowl coverage after these important messages." Said Chick.

_The Ultra Bowl theme starts._

"It's empty!" Cried Princess.

_Princess cries loud and long, as Susan enters from the front door into the house.\_

"Princess Morbucks! What in the world is going on here?" Susan asked.

"Huh?" Asked Princess.

_The guys look behind the couch to find Susan and Maddie, and to find the living room in a big mess._

"Huh? Oh oh." Said all of the guys in unison.

"What are the kids covered with, and what are those horrible stains all over my living room?" Susan asked angrily.

"I don't know, Susan, looks like chocolate milk." Replied Maddie.

"Chocolate milk?" Asked Susan.

_Phil laughs nervously._

"Who was watching her when this happened?" Susan asked.

"I told you we should have watched the chess tournament." Said Hans.

_The Rugrats sit innocently in the middle of the floor covered with chocolate milk. Cujo walks to Princess and licks her._

"Eww! Yuck! Ick! Get'im off of me!" Said Princess as Cujo licks her face.

"Allright!" Said all of the Rugrats in unison, as they _give each other high fives and fall on the floor._

**The End**


End file.
